Owned by a Drug Dealer

Owned By a Drug Dealer: Every time the phone rang… I froze in my footsteps; watching my children out the corner of my eye, frozen in their footsteps. Being so young they couldn’t figure it out why I would cry every time the phone rang… They would pull on me and say “momma just don’t answer it”. Every time I answer it and it was him. I had to stop what I was doing, get dress and be ready to be picked up. It started when this man saw me sitting outside my apartment crying, he gave me a 100.00 to help me with rent and food for my kids. A drug dealer’s Dealer; the man over the man. My life was his for a 100.00. My body was his.

Some nights he comes get me and I had to have sex with him as he wanted. Some nights I had to strip naked and lay in front of him, facing the door, while he slept behind me. I was his bullet proof shield just in case someone busted in the door for his guns. Drugs lay out on the table. I had to stand in dark allies to watch his car, deliver to run-down abandon houses. My life cost nothing. His people followed us everywhere we went. They knew where I lived. They followed me and followed my girls after school. There seemed no way out. He owned me because I accepted his help.

I told God if he got me out of this, I wouldn’t let people like him in life ever again. The last time I had to go with him, He told me that he wished things were different, he wish he could get out and be with me but he was in too deep. At that moment, he became human to me and I forgave him. I talk to a lady about a house and she said we could move in. The old man that sat outside my apartment told me when I could make a move and got guys to help me in less than an hour. I don’t know where that drug dealer is today. God moved us a block away from that apartment and he/they couldn’t find us. Our path never crossed again.

Divided You Fall

Fall Love, Business, Marriage & Friendships divided one from another….. Fails. * One mate working days and the other working nights is never a good thing. Nights hold much evil. You miss important moments that create a solid and sincere foundation. * Marriages built on lies, money, motives, secrets. * Marriages built on lies, money, motives, secrets, half-truths, physical attraction, sex and material things, divorce is waiting you.

* Business partners with different moral, value and plans, going in the same direction only to get to two different destinations is a rough road to travel. * A Pastor marrying the wrong woman, his ministry suffers, his spiritual growth is hindered. There is a silent division the church becomes his wife. * A relationship with uncertainty, going with the flow, words filled with “maybe” and “what if,” makes room for hurt, foolishness and mistakes.

* A Parent uncomfortable with communication, never take time to understand their children; label their children as a nobody or just like their no good mom or dad; judging them without listening, putting them aside for relationships, friends, jobs or money…causes an unhealthy future for that child.

* Dividing a STATE: Black, White, Other, Young, Old, Fat, Skinny, Tall, Short, Light, Dark, Poor, Rich, Smart, Dumb, Healthy, Sick, Educated, Uneducated, Beautiful, Ugly, Husband, Wife From My Heart Divided you fall. Divided we fail. Divided, they win. Life without God shall cease to be no more.

Something About You Being Gone

Poetry
There’s Something About You Being Gone. I lay there looking at your side of the bed and my rest isn’t complete. I’m lost in the nights without you beside me… morning can’t come fast enough. I grabbed my pillows and comforter and sleep on the side of the bed, on the floor. The bed: the place where we talk in humbleness and truth. The bed; where everything we had was sacred and real. In The bed; the world doesn’t exist when we’re lying next to each other. The bed; every movement was like poetry, in sync, a perfect fit. You once stated that we needed all that space to do what needed to be done. I was tempted to throw the bed away because of too much space. But when you’re not here, the bed and pillows don’t feel the same, the covers don’t cover right, the sheets are cold and the mattress is uncomfortable. There’s something about lying in the bed without you that I just can’t get use too. In The bed; where we make love till the morning came. The bed; where confession were made and hearts were mended. The bed; where moments were written in stone and time was precious. The bed; when a single touch and a sigh gave feelings light to be seen. There’s something about you being gone and I’m left in that big bed alone. When you’re gone, my heart aches, my body is anxious for your touch. I ball up in a knot on the floor to forget the place where you use to lay. And I sleep in peace.